Thank you so much Sheila for sharing about your depression. I was at a WOF many years ago when you were here in Vancouver, BC and I heard your story. I've struggled with PMS/PMDD and bouts of depression all my life, but never was treated until a few years ago when I had a miscarriage. I've gone through psychotherapy and many means of non-medicinal treatments. I exhausted all different avenues of healing. As a result, I came to realize it was a physical chemical imbalance in my brain. There is a genetic history of depression in my family. I took a small dose of meds for 7 months and then I stopped taking the med. I then crashed. I am now trying out neurotherapy (biofeedback) and see how this works. Any comments on this?

I am reading your book " The Heartache No one Sees", I walked into a bookstore,was drawn to the book and I am enjoying it so much. I have a close friend and husband who has depression. My friend is very depressed, has been asked to leave churches because of it. Don't understand! She is so depressed is getting ESTreatment. All I know to do is pray and stand beside her. She is a very good christian lady . She is so afraid people will find out. I love her no matter what! Thanks for being so open.

Thank you Sheila thank you. I have struggled with depression. I am so thankful that you have the boldness to go forward, and educate on depression. I too take a pill everyday. I have never thanked God for it, but I will start. Oh, and for the PJ's I still wear mine. I think it should become a new fashion statement. LOL Could you see the church if I walked in in my PJ's. Oh, but I would be comfy ;) God Bless

I read your book "Honestly" (in fact I saw you in person and you signed it-yea!) a long time ago, but recently started reading it again. When you checked into the hospital, your blood pressure was very low. Did anyone think to test you for Hypothyroidism? Low blood pressure is one of the symptoms...so is depression. I've discovered that depression can often be a misdiagnosis. Then the doctors load you up on meds, when maybe all you really needed was thyroid hormone replacement. Is your thyroid hormone level measured regularly now? Just a thought.

I do not think that talking about a problem is exacerbating things as the person from 3/12 suggests. After all, look at the people in the bible who had problems and with each successive reading of David's adultery or the Israelites disobedience, God is talking about them over and over again. Rather I believe that the problem is so pervasive that it needs to be spoken about so the people who are suffering can not only hear but be reminded that there is help and hope. Doesn't God have to constantly remind us that He loves us? I don't see any difference. It is a technique used by marketing strategists when they bombard us with repeated advertising for one product or another. Keep talking Sheila.

I would not have looked at depression as having likes. dislikes maybe but likes, nope, no way, no how. I suffer with depression in silence and there are days that are so tough I have to bribe myself to get out of bed and go to work or threaten myself as I cannot afford to loose my job. I live in fear of being found out for the most part and loosing my job. After hearing you speak on numerous occasions about your own struggle, all I can say is thank you for your boldness. you are one in a million.

Sheila..
Thank you so much for this post. I sometimes feel bad about my depression, but I keep taking my medicine and am doing good.. I have had people tell me that if I truly believed in Christ I would not need the meds.. Sometimes that upsets me, but then I think whatever get off my back.. God knows and He and I are cool so go bark up someone else's tree..

All I have to say about this is that it is VERY true. When I read read this, all I could think about was my struggle and how I tried to find help and I could not find it. I wish someone would have told me a long time ago that there was help. I was stuck in a church where I did not feel free to leave and yet in trying to find help, no one would help me. I felt traitorous for going outside of the church for help. And so I was trapped... But now I know I don't have to do that anymore. I CAN find the right help. I don't have to be stuck in a church to find the WRONG help which makes the problem much worse. It seems there are very few people who truly understand depression. Just seeing this article is making me more brave to talk about it because it is a REAL problem. Thank You Sheila for having the guts to speak the TRUTH.

I sincerely hope that most people commenting here realize that these are not put forward as actual “speed control devices”; they’re part of a (quite clever) advertising campaign by a suspension manufacturer.ed hardy t-shirts

I saw you on life today and you talked about twitter...so I started following you. your last twitter said something about this website so I looked it up. I am so glad I did. I didn't know you still took medication...I was abused in everyway as a child and I have suffered from depression and PTSD. I take medicine. If I don't I become suicidal. People in the church tell me if I loved God and got in his presence then I wouldn't have this problem. After all in his presence is fullness of Joy. But why then do people go into his presence and leave and still have heart diesease or high blood pressure and it is okay to eat wrong and then take medication for diabetes but it is wrong and a lack of faith to take medicine for PTSD or depression. It isn't. I believe in healing and have been healed miraculously before. why we struggle I don't know but i do know that a baby bird has to struggle to get out of the shell in order to live or it will die. Maybe we need to struggle....

I can't help wondering whether the constant need to write and talk self and the past problems has exacerbated depression in the church?

Hey Sheila, I am a teenager and struggle with depression but no one notices, they just think I'm being a hormonal teenager, but the thing is, it's not that simple. I wish I could get help but it would be embarrassing to my family, and my younger siblings do that enough for twenty kids. You are one of my lifelines that keeps me from giving up, and I thank you so much for that. It is so refreshing to read stuff like this and see that it shouldn't be taboo, but unfortunately that is the reality in our world at the moment. Thank you for shedding a different light on it and giving us hope.

I just can't seem to think or do anymore. I'm on antidepressants. I just want to sleep so I don't have to think.

thank you all my sisters in depression and medication. i have been on the stuff for 11 years, and will never get off of it. someone said that God is holding our hand through this depressive journey. yes, yes, yes i believe that. our God is always there for all of us

Thank you for your honesty. I also appreciate your humor.

Five things I like about you: 1) Your humor 2) Your insight 3) Your candor 4) Your timing and most of all.... 5) Your love of our Lord.

For most of my adult life I have struggled with depression. As I approached my late 40's it was getting worse, partly because circumstances we piling on my already serious depression. At the urging of a christian brother who is also a radio personality at a christian station,who also has depression, I sought medical help. It was the best decision I have made regarding my long battle with this monster. I was for so many years, convinced that I was just weak and that actually admitting I had a serious problem would make me weaker. I too am thankful for the medication that has allowed me to be the person I always hope I could be. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days and feel like a loser and fall completely short of God's plan for me. But now I don't stay there for days and wish for the end of my life. I am hopeful and now that I know that my depression is not because I am no good but because my brain needs some help. Thanks for helping to pull back the veil on this topic and help others understand.

You are so awesome! Thank you so much for your great insight. I am speaking on Thursday in front of 120+ women/moms and the topic... Depression. I am using you in my presentation and my goal is to help these women break the stigma and see the truth. I admire your strength and THANK YOU FOR THE TRUTH!!! God Bless you and all that you do.


Natalie West

There are those who have a mental illness and those who need to get over it. There is a difference. Better living through chemistry! An old 80's saying that applies here. I too, have battled with my mental issues my entire life, I now realize. A pill or two a day and I'm normal - well to most everyone that is. Mental illness is a disease state just like coronary artery disease or hypertension. It's a change in the wiring or a decrease in the flow of seratonin. Blessings sent to you for standing tall and talking about this. Blessings to you for being a warrior for God and role model to so many women through WOF. Love ya, mean it - De

Exactly!

This post has been such a blessing to me. You have NO idea!

I love it.

Sheila,

Thank you so much for telling your story. I am dealing with severe depression right now. I have hit rock bottom. I cant go on pretending that I am ok and that I can do this alone. I have an appt tommorow for a crisis evualtion and may be doing a partial hospitation. Today I cried out to the Lord to carry me. I know longer can do this anymore. I need help and I need you to carry me and that is the only reason I can write this. Sheila I want you to know that i've read some of your book Let Go and this book is helping me the darkest of times. You are giving me hope. I am so excited to see you in Minnesota on the 16th. Just know that you are helping me and through God I will be ok.

thank you thank you thank you i would say you will never know how this has touched me, but you do know. and i just sit here and i have been out of church over 4 years because i opened my heart and asked for help and got turned away. i do take meds but got shamed because of that too.

Terrific! Keep plugging to get recognition of depression as an illness and NOT a sin! You are the best! Another benefit: noone expects you to answer the phone!

WOW! So true... I do feel shame about my depression. I keep wondering when I won't have to take meds any more. For so long I wondered (and was told) why I couldn't depend on Jesus enough to receive his joy and get over this! I did finally listen to a friend and started taking meds. I still struggle. I have some bad days and some good days.
Thank you so much Sheila for your candor and honesty! You are such a blessing to me. Your tweets make me smile and laugh every day! Your obedience to our savior is such a blessing to so many of us! Thank you for obeying Him and sharing who you really are with us!
Blessings,
Carmen

Dear Sheila,

I heard your testimony about the depression several years ago at a WOmen of Faith Conference either in MN, KS or MO (I've attended several times). At the time, I didn't fully understand the gravity of what you had gone through. Well,now I do. Our 20 year old is a handsome, smart, athletic Junior in a Christian college who chose to stay home this semester because of depression. Just this past week, we went to the ER with him at a local hospital and because he expressed a desire to die, they admitted him ("voluntarily") to the psych unit. It was the longest night of our lives and a time when I wondered what kind of mother I was to have even taken him to the ER (he asked to go and even though I am an RN, I completely forgot about the "5150: Danger to Self" that would then require him by law to be admitted to the hospital). I felt I had in essence handed him over and it was frightening. Our son was frightened and so anxious! We are through that episode however and I do want you to know that as shame tried to take hold of me, I remembered your story and prayed that God would see us through victoriously. Currently, our son is seeing a good psychiatrist for treatment and thankfully our pastor has been kind and compassionate in giving our son support. I thank you for sharing your heart about this disease for we have too many college aged kids who are bright, love the Lord, who are athletic and even in Christian circles being told to 'shake it off' when depression rears up. There is an "expectation" in the Church that good kids don't get depressed, but I can tell you from experience that they do. Many non-Christian kids "self-medicate" with alcohol, sex, and drugs. Thank God our son didn't and that we were able to get him help before it got to the "end" of his ability to cope, which has happened to too many "good" kids as well. I thank God for you, Sheila, and your candidness to talk about the "dark side" because after going through this with our son, I can tell you, he felt dark and we sure felt alone. God used you to give me strength to battle shame when I needed to have courage the most. Thanks!!! God bless you!!

Dear Sheila,

I heard your testimony about the depression several years ago at a WOmen of Faith Conference either in MN, KS or MO (I've attended several times). At the time, I didn't fully understand the gravity of what you had gone through. Well,now I do. Our 20 year old is a handsome, smart, athletic Junior in a Christian college who chose to stay home this semester because of depression. Just this past week, we went to the ER with him at a local hospital and because he expressed a desire to die, they admitted him ("voluntarily") to the psych unit. It was the longest night of our lives and a time when I wondered what kind of mother I was to have even taken him to the ER (he asked to go and even though I am an RN, I completely forgot about the "5150: Danger to Self" that would then require him by law to be admitted to the hospital). I felt I had in essence handed him over and it was frightening. Our son was frightened and so anxious! We are through that episode however and I do want you to know that as shame tried to take hold of me, I remembered your story and prayed that God would see us through victoriously. Currently, our son is seeing a good psychiatrist for treatment and thankfully our pastor has been kind and compassionate in giving our son support. I thank you for sharing your heart about this disease for we have too many college aged kids who are bright, love the Lord, who are athletic and even in Christian circles being told to 'shake it off' when depression rears up. There is an "expectation" in the Church that good kids don't get depressed, but I can tell you from experience that they do. Many non-Christian kids "self-medicate" with alcohol, sex, and drugs. Thank God our son didn't and that we were able to get him help before it got to the "end" of his ability to cope, which has happened to too many "good" kids as well. I thank God for you, Sheila, and your candidness to talk about the "dark side" because after going through this with our son, I can tell you, he felt dark and we sure felt alone. God used you to give me strength to battle shame when I needed to have courage the most. Thanks!!! God bless you!!

I don't think I've ever been hesitant to share about my depression. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 10 but never received treatment till I was 40 years old. I checked myself into the psychiatric ward because my anxiety had become so overwhelming. I was assigned a psychiatrist and fortunately he is a Christian. I am now 56, on medication and am just so glad to find relief after all those years of suffering. Sheila, I heard you mention during a conference that there is no shame in taking medication for depression, and I was so glad to hear you say that before so many people. I pray that someday people in the church will understand depression and not be afraid of it or the people who have it.

How have u managed to make peace with this monster? I, too, am on meds and it is better, but I still dip into the Abyss on occassion, just got out of it in the last few months agian and I swear everytime I will not be back there ever again, but I end up there again! I, too, am at the foot of the cross, but I can't seem to find the peace.

I fully agree that "the church" needs to wake up to the many needs;

such as depression,PTSD and all the many other mental health diagnosis.

I am a pastor's daughter and have spent many years trying to get help. I have been told by Christians that "Satan was using me to hurt other Christians",that I must not really be a Christian,that I must not pray in the right way or have enough faith or I would not be enduring severe PTSD with ongoing flashbacks. I have spent 26 years of my life trying to get therapy and trying to fit in some Christian's "box" that is wrapped up nice with a bow on top. People just don't understand! From Nancy in K.C.

Thank God for people who are not afraid to speak out about this overpowering illness. My daughter almost died when she tried to kill herself because her husband told her she was just "doing it for sympathy" and 'to get over it".

Sheila, Thanks so much for your story. Unfortunately, after three bouts of depression across numerous years,I too realized that medication was going to have to be a life-long endurance. I collided with the same ministers' stories as you, ending up feeling inadequate and insecure about my faith. Praise God now because it is through these struggles that I stand stedfast in our relationship with my LORD. Thanks again.

I have heard you speak many times here in Philly. You are truley amazing. Your story is uplifting and encouraging. I struggle with low self-esteem. You always make me feel more valued and you always remind me that the Lord Jesus Christ loves me unconditionally. Thank you Shiela.

Thank you shiela!! I was diagnosed with major depression and finally put on meds, which I will probably take the rest of my life too. My first husband divorced me over it. My present husband loves me anyway.

I'll add a 6th reason: you are given a stronger gift of compassion and empathy for those who are in your shoes.


I am so grateful for the courage it must have taken you to share your struggle. I am grateful that you shared how you still are vigilant. I've battled depression and anxiety for a long time, but it always went away.


Four years ago, my son, who has life-threatening food allergies, began school, and I had to begin anti-anxiety medications. Last year, after my MIL died after a lengthy battle with cancer, and my Grandmother was also diagnosed with cancer, my dosage was increased. I am grateful the meds exist as well, so that I can be the best mom and wife and me that I can be. I have no plans to go off them either.


Bless you for letting the light of God shine through you and allowing the mercy and grace of His Son to give us hope.

XO

Angel

Can you get this serotonin without taking Cymbalta and other anti-depressants with all those side affects?

1. It's no longer a taboo subject

2. There's help out there on all levels

3. There's hope

4. I'm not the 1st nor the last

5. I'm at peace with good or bad days; There going to happen, Let Go!

Sheila, it is b/c you DID share w/ us at a WOF conf about your struggle w/ depression that caused me to take a good, long hard look at my own life & realized I was struggling w/ it as well. Your revelation gave me the courage I needed to address the situation w/ my doctor & I am so glad I did--I truly have not been the same since. Yes, there is a stigma that goes along w/ having a mental health issue, but compared to the behavior I was exhibiting by not addressing it, taking my Zoloft is a much nicer, more pleasant "stigma" to have.

Sheila, Thank you for writing this. I sometimes battle depression to, and have felt like the odd ball at church. Especially, when I battle with panic attacks. I have also felt the self criticism of these experiences. Even at times, questioned my own salvation. Admiring you, your faith and talents as much as I do, it is comforting to know that I am not alone, and someone as Godly as you have experienced the same. I don't know if I worded what I feel correctly, but I hope you understand. Thank you! Nancy (Gemamethy)

My friend was just diagnosed with depression and put on medication. She was scared to tell me because she had just been told that she needed to snap out of it and up her prayer life etc etc. I was horrified that the person who told her takes medication for his diabetes, yet doesn't understand the need for medication with depression. I explained to her that her body wasn't making seratonin and that the medication would do that for her. She was stunned that even the doctor hadn't explained that to her! I hope that I get a God ordained moment to explain it to the diabetic pastor so that he might reach some understanding of depression.

Thank you for sharing your story - it helps to take the stigma away from a common problem that is seen as shameful!

Elle

Reading this reminds me that I haven't taken my medication yet today. It really is hard to talk with someone about this who really doesn't believer it exists! Thank you for sharing so openly.

Dear Sheila,

I too suffer from depression, and have spent my time in the hospital too. Everytime I hear you speak about the subject, I listen with all my heart and mind because you are someone who understands my walk. Thank you for being my voice in a world of misunderstanding. You remind me of the daily importance of grace, grace for myself and others. You have taught me over the years the tools I need to fight this illness and have hope for another day. I am so thankful that God uses you to ROCK THE UNIVERSE!!!

Thank you Sheila- after reading the chapter on shame in let go this afternoon i think i have pinpointed my "issue". I can't even talk to my doctor about what's going on inside...she keeps asking me if i want to hurt myself, no i don't i just want to run away or hide forever....my husband wants to leave me because i can't tell him what's wrong, how can i tell anyone what's wrong when i can't tell. thank you for giving me courage to open up, at least a little

Thank you so much for this blog. Your openness has always been an encouragement to me. I've suffered for a long time with depression but now is the first time I've sought professional help. Today is my first day of taking medication and your blog was such an encouragement to know that I'm not alone and that taking the medication can be God's way of healing me. Rather than a quick touch from Him it's a journey where He's holding my hand and guiding me through it. Thank you for your openness. May God keep you, strengthen you and minister to you in His special sweet, loving way.

Thank you for exposing the truth about depression. So many years I tried to get help from pastors who told me that it's a spiritual problem and that I have invited strife into my life. I take my pill every morning and thank God for the help and lean on him to get through the day.

Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.

I know what it is like to feel depressed you just don't want to get out of bed in the morning..I remember when General Hospital was my connection to the outside world and if I missed it I was like so mad. and depressed. I think about it now and it is like If only I would have thought about going to the word and get my daily up lift. I would have been so happy and filled with love in a way that surpasses all understanding. I guess as we grow in being a christian we learn all these things. I except the fact that we all have a journey in our life and what happened yesterday is gone and I can laugh at my foolishness and know that ever since I turned my will and my life over to GOD my life is so much better. He has given me a strength that I as a woman

thought I would never have...It is true All things are possible through

GOD who strenghtens me.

I can relate to the woman that told you that you '..told her story out loud and youre still standing.' My first WOF conference was Infinite Grace. I watched and listened to Sandi Patty and I sobbed through the entire thing. She stood at the end of the platform with her arms outstretched and said 'I'm free at last, I'm free from the shame, I'm free from the guilt, I'm free.' I was so in awe at that moment and wanted to 'be her.' I then read her book Layers, which then somehow led me to your book 'Honestly'....by the grace of God; both of those books, while in the middle of therapy, saved my life. It was SO incredible to hear from two amazing women that they went through similar circumstances and are moving forward. You're not stuck with a label. Both you and Sandi Patty made a huge impact on me and I thank you both for your willingness to be vulnerable. I hope I can pay it forward to someone else that is struggling as well.

I am so glad Sheila shared this with us again. I started having severe depression in the early 90's as well. My pastor told me the samething. I needed to repent and turn my life totally over to Christ. I almost died because of that. I now take my little white pill faithfully every morning. I think I see flying dogs sometimes too! I do so much better taking the medication the Lord made for me.

I have dealt with clinical depression on and off for about 15 years, and I agree with you, Sheila, that there is a lot of misunderstanding about it, even in the church. I am also on medication and am thankful that there is this to help me.


Kathy from Virginia

This hit right at home for me!!
Thanks for your heart Sheila!! You are someone I would LOVE to have a conversation with, because you have no idea how God has used your stories to speak into my life in the past year. Praise God for His direction, WOF Indianapolis, and your willingness to allow God to use you as one of His mighty vessels!!! Thanks again... so much!
Allison Swisher
amswisher@gmail.com

I can't read the comments

Sheila-
I, too, have my "happy pill" that I take in the a.m. and will continue to take for the rest of my life. I have to say, though, that although depression itself isn't a spiritual matter, I do believe that while in the state of depression that the enemy takes advantage of that. I literally heard a whisper in my ear (and no-I am not schizophrenic) while in a deep depression of "your husband and kids would be better off without you. Look at you-you are a terrible mom and wife!" and I believed it. Thankfully, through friends and the Lord, I was rescued and in 2006 became fully free.I spent 3 weeks in a New Life Clinic in Seattle and learned the power of sincere forgiveness. THANK YOU, LORD!

You have always been an inspiration to me, and a fellow sister "with a happy pill". :-D God Bless You!
Frances in CA

I suffer from clinical depression as well. Few people believe me when I tell them it is a lifetime result of a wreck I was in several years ago. I just quit saying anything about it to anyone. God know my heart, my short term memory loss, my chronic fatigue the whole 9 yards. And as long as He is fine with me; that is all that matters.
I can't say there are 5 things I "like" about depression. But I wouldn't mind seeing a few dogs flying around. That sounds like fun...lol

First of all I love you! I love your honesty, your humor and most of all just the way you are! I would have to add that whether truth or not it creates losing weight an issue, so do you want me over weight or happy? :)

Thanks for sharing this, Sheila. It is tough battling depression, but you have given me a new way at looking at my mornings. Instead of telling myself that I have to take this pill, I am going to start looking at it as a gift. It is so tough when people do not understand the darkness that blocks the view of all of the great possibilities in the world. Thankfully, a lot of that darkness has been lifted in my life over the past year, but I still battle day in and day out.

I appreciate your openness, Sheila, and because of your life story, I am still alive today.

-Ashlee

Thanks sheila for sharing. We all need more compassion for each other in the body of Christ

Bless you for always sharing that which is sometimes "taboo" to discuss.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Nothing hurts me more than to be told I just need to get over it. If I could "just get over it", don't you think I would??

Sheila, I really appreciate your honesty, I have been in the depths and I was so ashamed that I let God down because of it, I know it was not my fault, but I suffered for years because of it.

Thank you so much Sheila! The church in general struggles with mental health issues. When my daughter died from suicide, depsite two years of treatment, some believed and actually told me that she had gone straight to hell. Honestly the hardest part of her death was dealing with the feelings of Christians and others that she had gone directly to hell despite accepting Jesus as her savior years before.

Even my own pastor at the time told me I wouldn't know where she was until I went to Heaven. It caused me to doubt the grace of God and was gut wrenching to question God's love and grace. Attending a wonderful retreat for women called the Emmaus walk, and of course amazing WOF conferences there is no doubt, not a drop in my soul, that my beautiful daughter went straight into the arms of the Lord and was healed immediately.


Lynne

Sheila, your testimony has many times helped me get through my own bouts and struggles with depression. Thank you for being the voice for many of us who need it, and for teaching us how to have our own voice. You are a true hero because you depict the very nature of the biggest hero of all time...Jesus.

Much love!
Cherry

thank-you that is exactly how i feel some days---i just recently got off all my meds but wonder if i should start taking it again---because i can feel it sneaking in---but i feel like i would be a failure and people would be disappointed in me

Thank you Sheila for sharing. I take medication as well daily. Morn, noon, and night for many years. But none of my friends really understand it. And my sister has had to be put on medication as well. It's hard for me sometimes but I say with alot of happiness I have so many good days that when I have a bad one I try to ignore it. But not to long ago I let it go way toooo long and almost had a mental/nervous breakdown. But within a fews weeks was feeling much better with an increase of one med.. I do take alot of meds though because my brain is a hard one LOL it does not want to absorb all the meds so we have to use sooooo many they call it a cocktail believe it or not. But I am OK with that I suffered for many years and was put on the wrong meds ect. for to long. But after seeing 10 or more doctors I finally had lab tests done and was diagnosed correctly. Thank you for being so transparent.I love you and your ministry. I did hear you at the Ft. Laud. WOF It was kinda funny you called it your happy pill and tried not to take it but realized that you had to take it. This was a few years back. Blessings sent your way!!! Love your sister in Christ, Renee

Thank you. The last couple of days have been tough and I have had rare bouts with depression. You lightened my load . . . and day.

God bless,

TimTerpening

(Twitter follower)

Thank you for sharing your depression with us. I too have been told by a church that depression is caused by Satan. It is a constant struggle to knock that thought out even though I know that mine is a hereditary chemical imbalance.
I struggle so hard with it daily. I take 3 different medications at this time. I would love to be back down to 1. The depression gets so bad that I fear that my daughter, who is adopted, will learn it.