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07-08-03 - "On the Road Again" If and when a horror turns up you will then be given Grace to help you. I don't think one is usually given it in advance. C S. Lewis When my son, Christian, was born, Barry's parents, Eleanor and William Pfaehler, were so far over the moon you could only see them on a very clear night. My husband is their only child. For twelve years they had prayed and waited for a baby. When Barry finally arrived, he was welcomed like rain on a parched desert. So when Eleanor's "baby'', had a baby, the joy was almost more than she could contain. Eleanor never imagined that she would live to see that day. Before Barry and I were married she had three heart attacks and was not expected to survive. But she did. "How I prayed that God would spare me to see my only child married and happy," she would often tell me when they came to visit us in our first home. Then at forty I became pregnant! I think she upped her tithe to fifty percent! What a joy it was to place that darling little boy, her only grandbaby, into her arms and see the look of wonder and fulfillment on her face. I began traveling with Women of Faith when Christian was six weeks old. Before my first trip Eleanor asked, "What are you going to do with the baby when you're on stage? "One of the local churches is providing a baby-sitter," I explained. Eleanor didn't sound too thrilled, but Christian and I set off anyway. When the pastor's wife ushered a young girl into my dressing room and introduced her as the baby-sitter, I was stunned. Rooted to the spot. The girl looked to be about five years old, with purple fingernails the length of California. She was chewing enough gum to pull out every tooth in my head. I paid her and sent her home. "This is not going to work," I said to Barry on the phone, tears streaming down my face. "I can't leave him with a total stranger who looks like she's been out of diapers for four weeks." That's when Eleanor stepped in. "We'll come," she said. "To every conference?" I asked. "Yes, to every one." Now, I have been an international traveler for years. It's amusing to my family in Scotland that the ten-year old girl who couldn't ride for more than two miles in a car without throwing up grew into someone who now has more frequent-flyer miles than the Archangel Gabriel! For three years I traveled across Europe with Youth for Christ. I have flown to Hong Kong, Indonesia, Singapore, and Malaysia with Youth With A Mission. At one point I had more than half a million frequent flyer miles on United Airlines. I'm sure I was in line for a free jumbo jet. I've taken bands on the road, new books or CDs on the road, purchased new outfits for the road. But it's quite another thing to take cancer on the road. That's what my mother-in-law did during the last two years of her life. Anytime Christian wasn't with me or Barry, he was with his nana and papa. Perhaps you're thinking that every grandmother would love to see that much of her grandchildren. I'm sure that's true, but not every nana has liver cancer. I know that there were many weekends when Eleanor did not feel like getting on a plane and heading hundreds of miles away from home, but I watched as she refused to stay in bed and embraced grace for every difficult step. She could have sat at home in greater comfort, close to her own doctors if she needed them, but she chose instead to step out in faith. She gave sacrificially to all of us, and in doing so, she told me, experienced more of the grace and provision of God than she had known in her life before. That's the mystery of the gift of grace. It shows up just when you need it. Not a moment too soon, but not a moment too late. We can live our lives nailed to a spot by fear, or we can reach out beyond ourselves and find a well of grace springing up just where we need it most. I'm sure Eleanor had read the psalmist's words many times before, but when she took cancer on the road she knew: "The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble" (Ps. 37:39). God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. |